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The perceived danger of hope

I have been thinking about family legacies of trauma (I’m working on a longer blog post about that) and one of the things I’ve been thinking about is that when a family knows that the worst things can happen, hope can become a dangerous thing. Not every family that experiences trauma is like this, obviously, but it’s common because people …

good parenting doesn't always feel good

Good parenting doesn’t always feel good

Parenting is often joyous, rewarding, fulfilling and fun. Parenting is also often lousy, frustrating and draining. This is because parenting is a relationship and relationships are both wonderful and hard. And it’s also because the parent/child dynamic is full of complications and expectations that are hard to manage on a good day let alone on the day when you forgot to set your alarm …