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Kids and Gender Identity Exploration

Kids and Gender Identity Exploration

Both in my office and in my real life (the one where I’m not wearing my therapist hat) I am meeting more and more kids and teens who identify as transgender, gender variant or gender queer. And I am also talking to more and more worried parents who are trying to...
To the woman feeling like a bad mother

To the woman feeling like a bad mother

I see you over there, avoiding playdates, avoiding Facebook (or staying up late reading Facebook like a punishment, because you think you deserve to feel bad about yourself). I see you at the grocery store with the tantruming 3-year old, trying not to cry or scream or...
All behavior makes sense

All behavior makes sense

Here are two things that everyone everywhere needs to know about everyone else: People do the best they can with what they know. All behavior makes sense when viewed in context. This is true for ourselves and our friends and family and definitely for our kids. Knowing...
Parenting Tips: Loving Our Messy Kids

Parenting Tips: Loving Our Messy Kids

One of my children really liked to make messes when she was small. You take a kid who is curious, who is sensory seeking and who is creative and you get a lot of messes. (Many of you are nodding and sighing and wringing out a sponge ready to clean up your own child’s...
Getting into the praise mindset

Getting into the praise mindset

When our kids are driving us crazy it’s easy to get locked into negativity. They’re being terrible, we’re trying to get them to quit being terrible, which often causes us to also act terribly and then we’re all being terrible with and at each...
What’s Under the Anger?

What’s Under the Anger?

This is a nifty exercise to do with kids and I’ve had occasion to think about it lately so I thought I’d also write it up here. Many of the kids I see are struggling with angry behaviors and getting to what lies under the anger is part of our process...