If you are scared and hurting

Therapists are supposed to be neutral and not bring their politics into the counseling room but if you’re a therapist with a bunch of different Wonder Women all over your wall then it doesn’t take too much guessing to figure that she didn’t vote for the guy who was joking about “locker room talk.” So let’s dispense with the pretending …

The perceived danger of hope

I have been thinking about family legacies of trauma (I’m working on a longer blog post about that) and one of the things I’ve been thinking about is that when a family knows that the worst things can happen, hope can become a dangerous thing. Not every family that experiences trauma is like this, obviously, but it’s common because people …

Put down the rock

Often our suffering comes because we have an idea of how things ought to be and they aren’t that way. The way we think things ought to be, our expectations and disappointments, they are like a rock we keep carrying around even though the rock weighs us down and keeps us stuck. Sometimes we pick up the rock in our childhood when …

The Gospel According to Darkness

There’s no official video for this song; this one is fan-made. I used to listen to this song when the album first came out and just cry my head off. But good crying. Cathartic crying. The whole album is one of my all-time favorites because it’s so beautiful — dealing with death and healing. But this song hit me so …