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And now for something completely different

And now for something completely differentWhen my son was a toddler he went from wobbling baby I knew and adored to a stomping, glaring child I didn’t understand. My tried and true techniques quit working and more than once I carried his screaming self out of the store, the library and away from the park completely baffled by his behavior. I felt guilty for his behavior, I felt guilty because I didn’t know how to quit triggering his anger and I really felt guilty because I sure wasn’t liking him much.

It seemed like neither of us could do anything right.

“I’m a terrible parent,” I cried to my husband. “I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m ruining him.”

It was my first lesson in how developmental stages could hit both of us. I knew he was going to grow and change but I didn’t understand that I would have to grow and change with him. It was only when I was commiserating (i.e., crying on the phone) with a friend whose daughter was exactly one month younger that I realized that I’d become stagnant. I was still trying to parent a toddler and he was trying to grow into a kid.

Parenting is anything but stationary. Our kids are growing all of the time and sometimes it takes a crisis in the relationship for us to realize that it’s time to change things up. We can’t parent a preschooler like a toddler; we can’t parent a teen like a tween. Those parenting plateaus — where kids and parents are perfectly in sync — are temporary. They grow, we grow and then we all have to readjust to each other.

I have found in my own life and in the lives of the families I see that the greatest push-pull comes when kids are edging to greater independence and parents haven’t caught up with this new scenario. There are predictable developmental windows when it’s easy to lose track of each other — when toddlers learn that they’re separate from their parents; when teens start looking to peers instead of mom or dad. But it can happen in less volatile times, too. Maybe a child wants the training wheels off or wants to choose their own clothes or wants to be left alone with a project. What was welcomed as attentive parenting one day is all of a sudden perceived as overbearing and we don’t even know when we crossed the line.

I tell this story a lot so you may have heard it but right around this same time when my son and I were first knocking heads he got furious with me because I didn’t remember his dream. He was trying to tell me about it at breakfast and he was so angry that I couldn’t remember it for him. For me, that sums up those trying toddler-preschooler times; he wanted me to psychically keep track of his inner thoughts and feelings but he sure didn’t want to hold my hand when we were crossing the street. No wonder I was confused, right? This stuff is confusing.

It’s painful to grow up (and not just for kids). It’s hard to make sense of these mixed messages — the 13-year old who mouths off and rolls her eyes then tries to climb onto your lap, the teen who won’t let you into his room but who wants to tell you the entire plot of Homestuck and exactly what he thinks of it. How are we supposed to know?

The answer is that we can’t know until we run into that brick wall and realize that our parenting needs updating. Conflict is a sign that things need to change. Sometimes what needs to change is our parental expectation and behavior. Sometimes it’s our kids who are dragging us to the next stage while we’re still trying to hammer away at the way things used to be.

It’s hard. It’s frustrating. And it is often painful.

That first time was the worst. I really thought I’d broken him and that chaos and conflict were going to be a permanent reality. But we did work it out. I changed up my expectations, I built in more opportunities for him to feel independent and suddenly my sunshine son was back, both of us happy to be with each other again.

And after that I could recognize when the landscape was starting to change and knew to rewrite my map. Acclimating to the new terrain got a lot easier once I knew what to look for.

One of my most favorite things to do is help stuck parents because I’ve been there (boy howdy) and I know how hard it is. Hit me up if you’d like some support.

Five Nights at Freddy’s: What it is

tunneldark-inside I decided to write this after someone on my Facebook posted about how scared her child is about this game. I’m hearing about it a lot these days — in the anxiety groups, in sessions and in my own home.

Five Nights at Freddy’s is a video game that has both computer and app versions (for Kindles, iPads, etc.). The plot is this: You work at a place like Chuck E. Cheese where animatronic animals come alive at night. You’re the security guard. Your job is to stay alive over all five nights. The animatronics are murderous and the game relies on a lot of jump scares to keep you tense. Here‘s the whole back story if you want to read it.

Besides the game, there are a number of YouTube videos of people playing it with commentary. (My daughter wants me to tell you that there are “not scaries” of it, too, for kids who want in on the game but can’t watch videos with the scary parts. But there are still a lot of jump scares in them. If I had to watch a Five Nights at Freddy’s commentary video, I’d watch this animated one because it’s not scary at all.)

I’m hearing from kids that this is at peak attention right now (in fact, as soon as I publish this they will probably move on to something else terrifying because it’s so peak it’s probably peaked) but I’m talking about it because if you’re not aware of it you should be and because the issue of viral fear on the internet is going to be an issue whether it’s Slenderman or Five Nights or whatever else the kids are talking about that we’re not hearing about yet.

And that’s really what’s important to know here. In our day it was Ouija boards and Bloody Mary in the mirror at sleepovers and in their day it’s what the internet has to offer. The big difference is that the internet has the capacity to make things more real. People can create whole worlds online to populate their creepy fantasies, which makes urban legends feel a lot less legendary and a lot more like fact. (My friend on Facebook says that what pushed her child over the edge is that people have created a digital footprint for the pizza place featured in the game to help cement the idea that the whole thing is real. Here’s a kid who made a video about that.)

What I’m saying is that Five Nights at Freddy’s may be what’s happening now but the challenge is not Five Nights at Freddy’s. The challenge is helping our kids be critical thinkers, to manage their anxiety, to figure out how to curate their own internet experiences and to stand up to people out to scare them.

Middle grade kids have some developmental demands that make them particularly vulnerable:

  • They are shifting to be more peer-oriented and independent, meaning that if their 10-year old friend says it’s true then his voice might carry a tad more weight than your voice of reason does;
  • They become more aware of the wide, wide world and the scariness in it, which is why they may be fascinated by scary stories;
  • Their bodies are changing and/or their friends’ bodies are changing and/or they’re becoming more aware of impending change, which may cause them to sublimate this fear into urban legends. Think about it, adulthood is for real and true pretty scary but kids can’t really verbalize this kind of existential fear. It’s a lot easier to be terrified of murderous robotic rabbits.

And now you see why Goosebumps were all the rage for middlegrade 90s kids, too, right? These fears serve a developmental purpose and many of our kids will need grown up help to meet that challenge and grow past it.

So what can concerned parents do?

Set limits: Learn about parental controls. Turn on YouTube safety mode. If you want to install a blocker then by all means do. You may want to create rules like screen time happens in community rooms of the house or that certain apps may not be installed on a child’s tablet. You decide and stick to it.

But be realistic: You can limit access to these games and web sites and videos but you do need to know that your ability to do this will be hampered both by the limits of parental control and by all the kids whose parents don’t block access. Between phones and iPods and Kindle Fires and family computers at someone else’s house, you need to expect that even the most protected child is going to catch sight of these things. That doesn’t mean you should throw up your hands and have a Freddy’s free for all. No, you can still limit it in your home because you’re not just trying to protect your child from the sight of it, you’re also modeling how we care for ourselves in the internet age. We are modeling that if something disturbs you, you should click out. So, yes, live out your family values and set those limits up but don’t assume your work then is done. You’re still going to need to deal with it because your child is going to need to deal with it.

Focus on real consequences instead of punishment: Part of learning to handle the internet and peers is messing up. Kids have to watch a video sometimes to know, oh rats, I should not have watched that. Very often that sinking feeling is a big enough consequence that you won’t need to create any of your own. The internet has a lot of yucky things on it and even the tightest of parental controls won’t keep all of it from slinking through. It is very likely that children will see naked ladies and creepy videos on purpose and on accident. Talk about this possibility before it happens. Talk about what your family values are around this. Talk about what you expect them to do. Let them know that if they see something online that they don’t like, you want to hear about it. When the time inevitably comes, listen with sympathy and then reiterate the rules. What can they do (if anything) to prevent the likelihood of that happening? What should they do if it happens anyway?

Explain to them about their vulnerability: Let them know that this is part of being 8 or 9 or 10. Explain that scary things won’t always feel this scary. Let them know that you are there to help them get through this developmental hurdle. Talk to them about fears that they used to have (that they’d go down the bathtub drain, for instance) and tell that this is like that. You can say, “I know Five Nights at Freddy’s seems really real but it’s no more real than the bathtub drain.” Promise them that they won’t always be this scared. Sometimes knowing that there is a way out (even if you can’t see it) can help. And along those lines…

Share your own middle-grade struggles: I’m not saying sit down and watch old school Poltergeist with them but talk to them about the thing that scared you when you were their age and tell them how you grew out of it. This can be a good exercise for you, too, to remember how scary unreal scary things can be; to maybe come up with solutions (what worked for you?); and to give your child a concrete demonstration that these fears can be conquered. (Ok, maybe you still wouldn’t keep a clown doll at the end of your bed but I bet you no longer quake in fear about that tree outside your window, right?)

Help them get to the bottom of things: You don’t need to bookmark Snopes.com on your kid’s tablet but you can teach them basic information about truth, lies and urban legends. Understanding the way stories get written, how they spread and why we do it can help diminish some of their power.  How Stuff Works has a series of posts on urban legends and AmericanFolklore.net has resources for teachers and parents who might want to delve in further. For some kids, being able to get control in this way can help them feel more powerful and less scared.

Ask for help: Come to the Kids & Anxiety workshop next week to learn more about helping kids handle their worries appropriately. If you can’t be there, contact me and ask for my hand outs. If you think your child might benefit from counseling, let me know. If I’m not the right person to help him or her, likely I know a therapist who can. I’m also going to be running a group again this summer and you can learn more about that here.

I had to share this video of Chris Pratt

0cbdbdc6f43c25f4908a2d98dd218369We’ve always liked Andy Dwyer at our house and we hear the guy who plays him does some pretty nice things but I’m sharing this clip of Chris Pratt on The Ellen Show (heads up courtesy of Jezebel) because it illustrates some great parenting.

First, this guy knows about child development as evidenced by his understanding that the “terrible” twos are developmentally appropriate since many toddlers are frustrated by their inability to share the complex wants and wishes that drive their behavior. (This is why they freak out about details — the wrong shirt, the wrong spoon for the cereal, the wrong way to open a door and enter a room — they have a very specific idea about what they want and they can’t communicate it to you.) Knowing about child behavior can really help us be better parents because it explains so much; that helps us be more understanding and perhaps less frustrated. And having a grasp of our child’s development holds the keys to an effective response since knowing what drives the behavior helps point us in the direction to address it.

That bit about letting his son stay up later? See, that’s a parenting choice that I think is super personal and isn’t right or wrong. It’s not a problem if it’s not a problem and if it becomes a problem, well, that’s the time to change. I think people get hung up on details like this (how to do bedtime) but what we’re seeing at play here is the ongoing creation of a responsive relationship. You might do it differently. You might enforce bedtime anyway and that’s fine, too.

The second great thing he does is prepare his son for a potentially hectic situation. He does this gently in a way that suits his pretty articulate kid and he’s open to his son’s response. That shows terrific attunement, focusing on the situation and his son’s needs and then communicating in a way that allows his child room to create his own response. The holidays are rough for all of us and acknowledging that can be a huge, huge help in keeping everyone sane.

Ok watch the clip and then I’ve got a little more below.

Ok, so that thing where he warns his son and his son responds with a heartwarming platitude and Chris tears up just talking about it? That’s swell. But the thing that struck me is often we parents start with the platitude. We start with the expectation that this holiday is going to be fun, dangit! And wholesome! And everyone is going to have a really good time!!! And our children are saying (in words and deeds), Well, I’m overwhelmed. I find Santa terrifying. This mall is too crowded. This holiday food is too complicated. I want my routine. And we get super frustrated because we’re already stressed and then our grand plans are falling apart and our kids are melting down and Aunt Lucy is making that disapproving face she makes and ARGH!!!!!

So it’s a good reminder that before all this happens, we always have the opportunity to remember last time. We can remember how the last holiday went or how the last trip to the mall, the zoo, the visit to Dave & Buster’s or Chuck E. Cheese went and we can prepare ahead of time. We can also prepare our kids, “Do you remember how last time at Chuck E. Cheese you started feeling overwhelmed?” (this gives language to that feeling they have) “Remember it felt too loud?” (you can problem-solve for this, offer earplugs or a signal to get the heck out) Maybe your child will look up at you all doe-eyed and adorable (Chris Pratt’s son) and say, “It’s family.” Or maybe they’ll say what my son used to say, “I’m not going.” (My kid missed so many birthday parties as a sensitive toddler/preschooler/schoolager!) But you’ll get to process it and make good decisions before disaster strikes. (For the things my son could NOT miss, we did a lot of planning about how to manage it. Code words that meant, “Mom, Dad, please help me find someplace quiet to calm down,” Quiet days before the big event. Exit strategies. Plans to wind down after.)

Anyway, that Chris Pratt is charming. Good stuff. Good parenting. And nice to see on a daytime talk show.

One Size Fits All Parenting

This is the problem with parenting advice even really good parenting advice. Sure you can give pretty safe general advice if you look at a child’s developmental stage and you can give even better general advice if you also take the child’s temperament into account and then if you have some time to sit down and discuss the family culture and the school culture (if the child is in school) and the broader world in which the child exists, then you can give pretty good advice because it’s not general anymore.

Let’s take discussions about Ferguson. In one of my professional groups we’ve been talking about how Ferguson has been coming up in our counseling sessions. Sometimes it’s coming up because parents are wondering what to tell their kids. I don’t have a One Size Fits All piece of advice about talking to your child about Ferguson because there is no way I could do this appropriately. Instead I would need to know a whole bunch of stuff including but not limited to:

How old is your child? What race is your child? What race are you? How does (or doesn’t) your family talk about race? Has your child brought it up? If so, where did he learn about it? How are they discussing it at school or at the babysitter’s or around the family table at Thanksgiving? What is your child’s temperament? What are his questions? What are his concerns? And finally what do you think about Ferguson?

There is simply not one right way to talk about Ferguson.

There is not one right way to handle bedtime.

There is not one right way to deal with tantrums.

I do give advice here on my blog because there is some general advice that I think is generally good. But that doesn’t mean it’s right for you and your child and trust me, if you get in my office and talk to me I will know that.

Like bedtime routines. Generally speaking a predictable bedtime routine contributes to what sleep experts call “sleep hygiene.” Good sleep hygiene is important. However some kids need less predictable bedtime routines. Some kids with anxiety may become too dependent on predictable routines (such as kids who struggle with OCD) and so that general good advice doesn’t work for those families. Those families need something more personalized.

Or tantrums. Some kids tantrum because their parents are too lax. Some kids tantrum because their parents are too strict. Some kids just tantrum because that’s where they are developmentally and it has nothing to do with their parents.

If you come in and see me we’re going to spend at least the first session just talking about you and your child. I’ll have a lot of questions to try to get a picture of what your child is bringing to the problematic situation and I’ll want to know what you tried, what didn’t work, what sometimes worked and what was an unmitigated disaster. And we will revisit that as we go because we are always learning and working towards greater understanding.

We’re not just trying to solve this problem; we’re also trying to give you and your child insight for you both to take into the future. Part of this is building concrete understanding of our selves (parent and child, together and alone) and part of this is learning how to problem solve in a way that works for everyone in the family. That way when you’re looking at One Size Fits All Parenting (or other) advice you’ll know what’s worth considering and what’s not worth the bother.

And I’ll tell you what, the parents who come to see me often feel lost but they know so much more than they may realize when they’re peering into the murky crisis that brought them to my door. Sometimes the very first part of our work is throwing out all that unsolicited One Size Fits All Parenting advice (from friends, family and strangers) because that’s making the crisis even murkier.

“Shouldn’t she be past this by now?” they ask me.

“Why?” I ask back.

“Well, I read it somewhere/my mother told me/all her friends have stopped doing it.”

And yes, sometimes she should be past this by now and we’ll work on it but sometimes she shouldn’t be and that’s fine and once the parents know that they feel a whole lot better about it.

So. No one knows your child better than you do. I know that and if you’re doubting it, I will help you know that, too.

Helping Kids with Anxiety

Helping Kids with Anxiety

This is Goldilocks. She’s having a tough time.

This is the final post in the 3-part series about helping kids with anxiety. I reserve the right to blog more about it in the future because it’s a big topic and this is so general. Onward! To the helping!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is the counseling modality of choice for kids (and adults) with anxiety. Research on effective anxiety therapies tend to focus on these three areas:

  • Understanding and addressing the physical response to anxiety
  • Recognizing and challenging the thinking errors that perpetuate anxiety
  • Using controlled exposure to the anxiety-provoking situation and practicing the tools

Again this is super simplified and super general. Kids (and adults) have diverse learning styles, challenges, expectations and histories so how this works will look very very different depending on the child. But to help you get the gist, I’ll use Goldilocks as an example. We all know her story, right? On the very off-chance you don’t, you can check out this short version so we’re all on the same page.

So let’s say Goldilocks’s mom brings her to me because she’s gotten very anxious since her disastrous meet up with the three bears. She’s having trouble sleeping, she’s having some bad dreams, she is having tantrums at the drop of a hat and she hates leaving her mom to get on the school bus because she’s afraid the bears will come break into her house. She also can’t bear the thought of eating porridge ever again and will fall apart if her mom serves it at breakfast.

The first thing we would do is talk about Goldilocks’s physical experience of being anxious. We would talk about how being chased by bears would rev anyone up but now we need to help her calm her body back down. We would talk about how since this happened every time her heart starts beating or she starts breathing fast that her body immediately thinks BEARS! even if she’s faced with something much less concerning like shoes that are hard to tie or being a little bit late for school in the morning. We would work hard on helping her identify where in her body she feels the anxiety — is it in her stomach? Does her chest feel tight? Does she make fists with her hands or does her mouth go dry? We would talk about relaxation techniques and figure out which ones work for her. She might start keeping a worry diary or we might make a list of everything that makes her anxious.

What I tell kids is that we’re going to be detectives and we’re going to work together to solve the problem of their worries. I am very strengths based (that means I encourage focus on what’s going right even as we are talking about what’s going wrong) so we would also discuss times they have managed their anxiety in the past so we can figure out what shores them up.

The next thing we would do is look at thinking errors (also sometimes called “negative cognitions”). Here are some super common thinking errors:

  • All or Nothing Thinking: If I make one mistake then I’m an idiot.
  • Catastrophising: If I don’t turn in this one homework, I will flunk out of school.
  • Overgeneralization: I fell down at the roller rink one; I will fall down forever.
  • Personalizing: It rained on my birthday because nothing ever goes right for me.
  • Discounting the Positive: Sure my best friend likes me but that doesn’t count because she’s my best friend.
  • Mind Reading: I know everyone on my soccer team hates me.
  • Labeling: I’m taking so long to learn to ride my bike because I’m uncoordinated.
  • Should Statements: I shouldn’t have such a hard time learning math. I should know how to wrap this present without help.
  • Emotional Reasoning: I am in pain therefore I am right and you are wrong. I feel guilty and that proves I’m a bad person.

There are more but you get the gist and probably these are familiar to you either because your child does them or because you do them yourself. (Some of these are so ingrained in our cultural way of thinking that to confront them can be like wandering around in the dark your whole life and then stumbling over a flashlight and realizing you can use it to find the light switch and actually turn on all the dang lights.)

This is where I think counseling can help. I know in my own family that I can tell my kids something over and over but when they hear it from somebody else they believe it. Part of this is that they get tired of the sound of our voices (I haven’t seen studies on this but anecdotally I can tell you that my children get tired of the sound of my voice) and part of it is because it’s easy to get defensive with our parents. At least it was for me when I was a kid and then a teenager. If my mom disagreed with me it was automatically an opportunity for me to argue with her but if another adult said the same thing, it was an opportunity for growth and better understanding.

Yeah, we parents get it coming and going.

BUT! Let’s not resort to Overgeneralization! Sometimes parents have a lot of success doing this work at home without a therapist and there are workbooks (note I haven’t reviewed these so I can’t recommend one in particular) to help parents help their kids. AND even when kids are in therapy, we really need the grown ups in their lives to help them do the work. (I see a child an hour a week. Their parents are the ones bearing witness to the other 167 hours.)

Anyway. That’s the cognitive part of CBT therapy and it can take awhile. We’re talking about challenging ingrained ideas that make perfect sense to the person thinking them. That’s HARD and it takes practice.

For lots of kids, this is when we’re really leaning on the play part of play therapy because every little step we take needs to be ensconced in trust, respect and acceptance, which means a lot of time just hanging out and enjoying each other. The play therapy space (and the talk therapy space) is a place to safety say anything and be anyone and sometimes anxious kids just need one place where they can come and PLAY away from their worries.

tumblr_lsne2yzAIw1qh59n0o1_250Particularly with anxious kids whose anxiety ends up all centralized in their need to Do Good and Be Good, too much CBT pushing just triggers their anxious need to perform well. So sometimes my office is all about creating an island where they can goof off a little and experience themselves in a new way.

I’m emphasizing the slow part of this time in therapy because sometimes parents get (understandably) frustrated. They want to see change. At the beginning they get some concrete tools (breathing, relaxation, etc.), which feels great and proactive but it’s not a cure all. And then at this point things slow down and they may not see the any progress. But progress really is happening. Not to mention that this is where grown ups start slowing down, too, because it’s one thing to hear about Personalizing but it’s another thing to really get it and see how that kind of thinking is actually impacting your life.

The other thing is that anxious kids (and adults) have had people trying to talk them out of being anxious for a long, long time and that can make people hold on to anxious feelings even more tightly. They don’t mean to do this but being anxious, which many of them see as being concerned or cautious or careful or responsible (“I study all of the time because I’m a good student and if I’m not anxious about it then I’m being irresponsible.”) and often they get a lot of praise for being “good” in other anxious ways. (Oh the perfectionist students I see in my office! The ones who are running themselves into the ground for the praise and academic rewards!) To ask them to give up this way of thinking, well, that’s scary. It takes time.

Goldilocks may say to me, “You know this is all well and good but the minute I let my guard down I’m pretty sure Papa Bear is going to come charging in here, paws waving, and I can’t risk it.”

And so we’d keep working on it.

The next step of CBT is taking it out into the world and confronting those anxieties. Remember we’re simplifying these steps and we’re making them look more clear cut than they are (although they’re presented pretty clear cut in the Coping Kids group because we have a curriculum but we will adjust it as needed).

Goldilocks and I would keep on playing detective, we’d see what’s working for her and where she gets stuck. Maybe her big issue is not being able to eat porridge. Maybe I would get an empty box of oatmeal to have in the play kitchen or maybe we’d pretend to feed breakfast to the dolls.  When she’s ready maybe we’d have ourselves some porridge together. We’d go slow and we would be mindful of how it feels. We would see any small move forward as a victory even if she never actually gets the spoon in her mouth for a long, long time.

Maybe I’d ask her mom and dad to take her for a walk in the forest and practice her relaxation techniques and see how that goes. She and I might might write a game plan beforehand that confronts the “what ifs” and has strategies in place for whatever scenarios she can imagine. Again, we’d go slow. She might only get herself out the door the first time and we’d applaud that step even as we think about how to get her off the stoop next time.

Or maybe she’d need to play out what happened, putting the bears in the sand tray and working to make sense of the event by playing out the scene over and over again, trying out new ways of experiencing it and new outcomes.

There are other more specific ways to deal with particular kinds of anxiety. Treatment for OCD, for example, is more complex. Which brings me to medication.

Medication for kids is a tricky thing. Although many family practice and pediatricians will prescribe medication, it’s best to seek out help from a child psychiatrist. But this is hard. Columbus — like lots of other areas — has a dearth of child psychiatrists and parents don’t always have time to go search one out. I encourage parents to have an ongoing conversation with their family physician and to be aware that having a psychiatrist becomes even more important as the child gets older because hormones can make getting the right meds in the right dose super challenging (and things can turn on a dime if someone hits a growth spurt).

Not all anxiety disorders NEED medication but medication can certainly make sense if a child is completely hamstrung by his anxiety to the point that he isn’t going to be able to participate in his therapy. (Some kids are so anxious that relaxation techniques aren’t going to be enough to get them to a place where they can do the cognitive work.) Or if her behavior is so problematic (tantrums, rages, violence) that the rest of her life is at a standstill then medication can make sense.

Ultimately this is a parenting choice and I support parents in making their own informed choices for their kids. I do think, though, that medication alone isn’t enough. We all need to learn how to function as our best selves within the gifts and limits of our particular personality make-up. Medication can help us get functioning but we still need to understand ourselves and how we work. We need to know how to get help.

Eventually, too, our children will be adults and will make their own decisions about how to manage their anxiety (since for most anxious people it’s part of their lifetime experience since our personality can be molded but we are essentially who we are) and getting therapeutic support gives them options.

I like the idea of saying to kids, “Hey, counselors are there to help us when we need it. You need to know how to find the right one for you and how to do the work of therapy and I will help you do that when you’re young so you can help yourself when you’re older.” So we can teach them how to be good consumers of therapeutic support by helping them find someone they like and feel comfortable with (because it all comes down to the rapport in the relationship).

This is a positive way to talk about anxiety and anxious temperaments. After all, some of us more athletically gifted and some of us need more help. Some of us are terrific musicians out of the gate and some of us need more practice. Likewise some of us have more struggles with anxiety or depression and that’s why we have therapists and that’s why we learn about medication options and that’s why we learn to take good care of ourselves.

Have questions? Let me know. Want to sign your child up for Coping KidsLet me know. (I’m trying to plan summer offerings so if Coping Kids is something you’d like your child to attend then, please let me know so I can email you when I get scheduled and also find out if there are particular days or times that might work for your family.)

First in the series: Anxiety in Kids

Second in the series: Child Anxiety Symptoms

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